Sex before Marriage

[Diri]

Thankyou for the reply.

Iam 110% comitted to my husband & i always will be. But i do sometimes have doubts wether he will return to live in kurdistan one day. Thats my worst fear because im sure that i couldnt live over there being so far away from my family.

Yes you are correct about not only is it kurdish boys that play the english girls, nobodys perfect & there is good & bad people feom every country.

Congratulations on being engaged are you with a kurdish girl? Have you set a date to marry?

The mullahs were kurdish who married us.

Hope for a reply soon.

Bless you! You are most welcome...

Yes, I can understand that fear of being forced to take a stand. And I think you should sooner or later explore that fear before it consumes all your attention. Face up to it. It will probably leave you with a very healthy and relaxed state of mind. Go to Kurdistan on your own quest to find the answers to the questions you have. He wouldn't just up and leave out of the blue. And life in Europe is far more luxurious and careless than life in Kurdistan... Of course you're his wife and I wouldn't know anything about him - except that he's Kurdish, and that Kurds put great pride and time/energy into their families...

Yes, indeed good and bad people can be found anywhere, anytime... It's really about bringing out the best in people... Some are more inclined than others to act badly...

Thank you very much! Yes, she is Kurdish and she's in Northern Kurdistan (Turkey's Kurdistan). We've not yet set a date for the wedding - but either next summer or the one after... Depending on certain factors...

Excuse my late reply!

Best regards!

[raman82]

Well m not kurdish , im kashmiri/punjabi , but the cultural ethos is exactly the same. Boys will by boys , not all of them will be screwing around in the quest of getting laid but most have that way of thinking. Of my friends , most have that way of thinking , it disturbs me . I mean they are cool to talk too but you wouldnt suggest them as a proposal for someone you knew. A lot of the girls ,especially white girls who are in love with these guys , think the guys will stay and sex is like some anchor to further their relationship , but in the guys head ( or as i call it the brown boy mentality) , its just "FUN" they will dump them and go from some "traditional" girl their mom and auntie suggests lol . I think in the end though you reap what you sow , and karma comes to bites you in the ass. Also in regards to frivilous sex aka meaningless relatioships/one night stands, im very against them because eventually what happens you will be not as committed to serious relationships and if your in a marriage , you end up cheating ,because your so desensitized from being with so many chicks ,your just not as attached.

[sicpit]

Well m not kurdish , im kashmiri/punjabi , but the cultural ethos is exactly the same. Boys will by boys , not all of them will be screwing around in the quest of getting laid but most have that way of thinking. Of my friends , most have that way of thinking , it disturbs me . I mean they are cool to talk too but you wouldnt suggest them as a proposal for someone you knew. A lot of the girls ,especially white girls who are in love with these guys , think the guys will stay and sex is like some anchor to further their relationship , but in the guys head ( or as i call it the brown boy mentality) , its just "FUN" they will dump them and go from some "traditional" girl their mom and auntie suggests lol . I think in the end though you reap what you sow , and karma comes to bites you in the ass. Also in regards to frivilous sex aka meaningless relatioships/one night stands, im very against them because eventually what happens you will be not as committed to serious relationships and if your in a marriage , you end up cheating ,because your so desensitized from being with so many chicks ,your just not as attached.

[raman82]

^^^were you saying something..it didnt show up

[Diri]

Agree with what you say Raman...

But I have to add: boys are boys no matter where they're from... And Western boys are not less horny than Eastern boys... The difference is that while Western girls are free to screw around - Eastern girls are confined because of the culture and moral of the East... But - that has changed a LOT the last 20 years...

[raman82]

Yeah it has changed a lot but still , I do know some nice white chicks here , who are very GOODY GOODY girls , whilst I know some IRANIAN girls (eastern) who are like THE biggest HOES on the planet. They all use Orkut as a booty call set up , my good persian friend said he knows 3 irani chicks who just came from iran , and the all scrapped this Persian DJ (LOL) for sex , really pathetic . My mom tells me dont get an Irani chick because i do hang out with Persians , she says they just look in the mirror all day and they try to hook men lol.Persian girls are very beautiful (partly because of all the surgery and shit they do ) but its a real turn off because they are so damn shallow.
Hate to sound stereotypical but Ive met tonnes of persian chicks and all act the same and are so beauty obsessed its like pathetic , the ironic part is their Persian male counterparts call them (NIYAE) which is a term for persian chicks , it means they spread easy . This is very odd for an eastern community ,because men are almost always possesive about their women , this is an exception with persians/iranis. Which is why Persians go for non persians lol.

Another factor I think sohrab is frustration and loneliness , lots of immigrant children , feel to be more accepted they should be promiscous and screw around , lots of times its psychological too , cheap sex is a way to fill a void but you end up wanting more and its spirals downwards. Lots of immigrant children arent given so much love and attention from their parents because they are working so much, and no religious training , so they arent grounded in something so than that creates problems in their late teens and in their 20s.
Another reason is marriage ages , before guys use to be married in their early 20s and girls in their teens , if you see now because of work , stress ,frustration that has been pushed up .

[Miran]

I live in the UK with a Polish girl, we are planning to married. I think the reason why a lot Kurdish boys choose polish girls is because I believe that polish people are the best we can socialise as a foreign culture and live together. We have many things in common, which are very helpful to start building a family.
I have no problem that she had relationship before me as long as we are committed and respect each other. This should follow for everyone regardless of their nationality.
Any relation based on fun and deceive should be ashamed of it. These people are just abusing the freedom of western values.

[Barış]

I live in the UK with a Polish girl, we are planning to married. I think the reason why a lot Kurdish boys choose polish girls is because I believe that polish people are the best we can socialise as a foreign culture and live together. We have many things in common, which are very helpful to start building a family.
I have no problem that she had relationship before me as long as we are committed and respect each other. This should follow for everyone regardless of their nationality.
Any relation based on fun and deceive should be ashamed of it. These people are just abusing the freedom of western values.

Congrats!
Welcome to Roj Bash!
I'll do a welcome thread for you in ''Introduce Yourself'', because I'm a bit curious about you...

[Diri]

I live in the UK with a Polish girl, we are planning to married. I think the reason why a lot Kurdish boys choose polish girls is because I believe that polish people are the best we can socialise as a foreign culture and live together. We have many things in common, which are very helpful to start building a family.
I have no problem that she had relationship before me as long as we are committed and respect each other. This should follow for everyone regardless of their nationality.
Any relation based on fun and deceive should be ashamed of it. These people are just abusing the freedom of western values.

Awsome kak Mîran... I'm glad to hear you've found the love of your life... Your relationship is cross-cultural and cross-religious (I assume) - and that is beautiful: to see a person for what he/she is, not just their cultural background...

Check out the "Introduce Yourself" section of the forum...

Dubare: pîroz bêt...

[allina]

I am Ukrainian girl and I agree with opinion that woman and man can have private relationsheeps only if they stay together long time and really want to get married,think about future. About sex people must think not like about some fun. My husband – muslim and he said that woman must be virgin and man to.
There are 2 sides of this story. From 1 side I know many examples when people from muslims countries come to Ukraine for enjoy after back to their country married with virgin girls, but after keeping enjoy with Christians girls. And in the same time say I am good muslim. It is not right.
Some Christian people think that you must try sex with different people and after choose one. It is also not right and stupid.
At first must be love.

[Leeda]

hey everyone

i haven't been here for ageeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz, i'v been going on viva kurdistan alot latetly.

this is an interesting topic and my friends and i have discussions about this quite often.

i'ts very wrong the way women are being treated in some backward cultures in the east. i'm not talking only about sex before marrige, i'm also talking about falling in love with someone who's not kurdish, or even having a boyfriend. i agree with all of you here that say it's not fair for kurdish boys to sleep around but for a kurdish girl to even fall in love with the "wrong" man it's a crime and they should only pay by giving their life!!!

As much as a kurdish boy here in the uk would want their future wife to be pure and only give herself to him, she would want the same, right? it's really not right what all these kurdish boys are doing here in the uk.

Who i really feel sorry for are the victims of honour killings... how can killing a life ever be honourable?! it doesn't make any sense!

[Barış]

Welcome back, Leeda!

It's not only some Kurd men, there jackasses all over the world.
Yea I agree it's very wrong. I'm against honor killing too.

[Melli]

I think anyone takes a change when they have sex before marraige no matter what culture you are connecteted too. You can be with any guy for a long period of time and then decide to have sex, but that does not mean that in the end you will land up getting married. I think some people put to much emphasis on sex and forget that there is other much more important qualities that make a realationship work....like honesty!!! I am saying that when anyone decides to have sex before marriage they should know for them selfs is why? I am not for people having sex just because the oppertunity arises when ever and where ever, as for ppl that are in relationships where 2 people love, respect and trust each other its a different story. There is nothing wrong with having sex before marriage just remeber to keep your selfworth at the end of the day.

[SinekSekiz]

I am not Kurdish and the question has not directed in me but I would like to say few words about this.

People should not see this as man or woman. My ideal relation is depend on loalty and honestly. If both sides could provide that it is not really important to have sex before marriage or peoples history. I mean is there any virgin left anyway? : )

I do not belive in marriage either actually. I do not think couples has to have proof of their commitments trough any legal way. I mean if there is no trust to each other and started to think "Could she backstab me in future?" then find someone you trust and love for god sake.

Well I do not have anything against to gays (bot men or women) either. But I do not like them arround me. People easly think you are as well. I mean I found it disgusting to sleep with another man. Yiiiieeeahhhh. Iiii.

Anyways I unfortunatly am more open minded then most of my countrymen. Turkish or Kurdish most of my friends looking for untouched flowers in nature? I just keep saying them "Good Luck...".

If anybody wants to have a virgin here I wish the same to them as well. They do not even born virgin these days.

[Barış]

Well, It seem to me that you do have something against gays since you say ''But I do not like them arround me. People easly think you are as well. I mean I found it disgusting to sleep with another man. Yiiiieeeahhhh. Iiii.''