Sex before Marriage

[SinekSekiz]

It was a funny way (at least I tought it was) to say that I hate the idea. : ) Yes I have something against to them but it is personel.

I said I am from Bursa and the street we lived had a cheap motel. There was lots of transexuels there. They were stabing people during night. Just before I came London they were protesting police because they take one of them to cutody. They started to trow bricks to street and I was running late for my flight. I had to go out and run like a man who is runng away from a sniper. : DDD

So it is personel.

[brokenheart_rose]

can i add something?

[Barış]

can i add something?

Yea. You don't have to ask permission to post.

[brokenheart_rose]

can i add something?

Yea. You don't have to ask permission to post.

First of all, thank u.
It's actually hard for me to start saying, too hard cuz im ashamed of myself n people would look down on me, especially that im a muslim.
Frankly, few days ago when i was really down n i google searched "kurdistan+sex+marriage" i saw this topic n after i read the posts, i realised that i started crying again. I wanted to tell something that i experienced, n for posting, i have to register, so here i m now.

I'm in England n the most important reason i'm here is for studying. Two months ago, i met a Kurdish guy n we started talking to each other n one day he told me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't in love with him then but i cared about him cuz he was a friend. He told me he would stop smoking n drinking if i become his girlfriend. He also told me that he has no girlfriend whatsoever as his polish girlfriend had already left him quite while ago to go to her homecountry.
U see, i was naive back then n i never thought someone who was nice to me would ever lie to me. I see that all people are nice when they seem nice.
Iv never been with a boy alone before, especially in my homecountry. I came to England in 2007, n that time is the first time i went out to meet a guy.

To cut story short, after few days of being with him, i started to love him. He was really nice to me. He had showed me photos of him from Kurdistan, of his friends, of his relatives, of his team on football, his language on the tv channels n in his driving lessons book, the Kurdistan results of football games on his laptop, etc.. n i really love the food that he ordered from Kurdistan restaurant to be delivered to his house. It was my first time eating together with a boy even if it's not in the restaurant or outside. We didn't really meet often bcuz i had my cla sses n he had his job. He had never asked me out to cinema, n iv never walked with him in the park, or went out with him in a car/bus. we were always in the house n i didnt have any problem with that. its my first time having a real boyfriend and everything that we did together, tv, eating, playing game, it was enough for me bcuz i just like being close to him.

But one day, he asked for sex n i told him that we shouldn't do. He had told me before that he loved me n he would not leave me. He told me that we could meet to see each other at least once a week. He told me everything is going to be fine. With all his words in my head, what i thought that time was really stupid. I thought that one day he would marry me n i would be his wife n he would be my hubby. I thought that we loved each other so much n we would b happy together. Then i let him did it to me. What i should have thought at that moment was to think about God n also my family. But i really forgot n that was my biggest mistake in my life. It was quite a while i didnt see him after that. I tried contacting him n he started to ignore or just replying that he was really busy n that he was working outside the city. I believed him n i thought that he would meet me again when he was less busy.

After a month i didnt see him n his friends started contacting me. I didnt noe where they got my number from. Few of them were telling me that my boyfriend was just fooling me. Some told me that he wasnt even living in my city anymore n that he has girlfriends every where. I didnt believe them n i thought that my boyfriend was really nice to me, he wouldnt do that to me. I kept trying contacting my boyfriend again n again, bcuz i was feeling scared of thinking that he would leave me. n one day, he did reply me. He said he was sorry n he told me that he lied to me. He told me that he's not living in my city. The house we were always in when we saw each other is actually his friend's house. I was really shocked, my heart was hurting so much n i cried for many days. Why did i fall for him?? i have loved him so much n i never did bad things to him when we were together. n there he was telling me about his lies n telling me not to contact him anymore. I tried to meet him after that, a one last time to talk to him. I just wanted to see him so much, not to hit him or fight with him. Maybe i just missed him so much n wanted to talk. I even asked his friend who had been contacting me , to help me meeting him. More incidents happened after that n its too long to tell, but now n then when he saw me on msn, he would call me bitch n dirty. I know he already started drinking n he doesnt love me (i dont noe if he ever did).

I think i should stop here cuz while im typing right now, i have been thinking about him n it makes me cry.
Bye

[brokenheart_rose]

U deleted ur reply Baris. But iv finished reading them tho. Its okay.

Ya we r both muslims. But here in England, he does drink n does sex with girls. I dont really know why im interested to bad ppl (i didnt know that he like doing sex with his Polish girlfriends tho). i guess somehow i just want him to change to b a good guy n what i didnt realise is that not only i did see his change (stop drinking), i also only saw nice things from him (he was really being nice to me). Maybe because iv felt for him, i didnt see any bad behaviours or doubts from him. But that was before n i couldnt really believe what he did after that.

Im not saying that all Kurds guys are like that. Iv met some who r good. Some of his good friends like to help me. But i cant be with anyone related to him bcause i really dont want to see him again by any chance. I just thought that maybe if i had been to this forum before i met him, i would have known or at least been aware with this matter. Iv read the posts in here n i began to understand, accepting some truths, because iv experienced some of them. He told me the reason why he left me. He told me that he lied about many things. He finally said to me that he just wanted fun, n he no longer wants me to b his girlfriend. I think he knew that i loved him a lot n he didnt want that. He said he cant marry me n he even told ME to have fun. He would marry one day in Kurdistan with a virgin muslim. n before he goes back there, he wants to get as much fun as he likes when he is here. With that, i think i know where my position is now. He wouldnt be marrying me anytime. He told me that we can be friends n i can meet him when he is free. He told me i can have fun with HIS FRIENDS as well. It really hurts when i heard that from him. n with that, with a broken heart, i decided not to meet him again.

[Barış]

I deleted my reply because I'm not Kurd. The topic starter was asking Kurdish guys. Anyway, it's realy obvious he's a player. I agree you shouldn't keep in contact with him or his friends. Also I suggest to block him on your MSN if hav'nt already done so.

[dyaoko]

oh dear,how old are you ? do you live alone in england ?

I on the behalf of the kurdish boys appologize to you innoncent lady , what that boy did to you was terreble and unacceptable .

I tell you , almost all of the people's first love becomes a tragedy, most of the people have a big pain in the heart from the first love,
this was your first love and it takes a while , but I tell you, you will feel stronger when you are over him .
remember whataever which doesnt kill you makes you stronger .

may be it is time for you to think about see another person and get over him.

[brokenheart_rose]

oh dear,how old are you ? do you live alone in england ?

I on the behalf of the kurdish boys appologize to you innoncent lady , what that boy did to you was terreble and unacceptable .

I tell you , almost all of the people's first love becomes a tragedy, most of the people have a big pain in the heart from the first love,
this was your first love and it takes a while , but I tell you, you will feel stronger when you are over him .
remember whataever which doesnt kill you makes you stronger .

may be it is time for you to think about see another person and get over him.

Ya living in england alone, im 20. i live with 3students in a rented house, near to my uni. my whole family r in my homecountry. but when they know about this, maybe they will want me to leave.
Thanks for ur advice

[nuray]

i am so sorry this happen to you. do not tell your family about it. this is really should be kept secret. i would not think about men right now. study and complete your degree at the university.

[dyaoko]

are pp of ur homecountry open minded about sex stuff or it would cause u problems ?

[brokenheart_rose]

its baddd.. my family would hate me. a disgrace to them. ppl will look at me differently, n they wont be seeing me the same as before. but i m still like before im still me

[Londoner]

I remember a court case in this country. A man persuaded a woman to go to bed with him on a solid promise to marry her. When she discovered he was not telling the truth, she took him to court. He got prison sentence and heavy fine to compensate the victim. Considering the common religious background of brokenheart-rose and this unkurd person in a situation like this, he could get five years prison if taken to court.

[Vladimir]

Lot of guys are like this. Especially muslim guys (Turks, Kurds, Marrocan, etc) : they try you out if if you are willing to have sex, they consider you as a whore and they move on to the next 'victim'. Until they are old enough and start marrying some virgin girl from their home country. And I think the traditions of your family are not very 'good', but I'm an atheist, you cannot expect me to agree with these kind of religious ideas.

[KurdiBoy]

Especially muslim guys (Turks, Kurds, Marrocan, etc)

An act like that automatically makes you a non muslim. Not everyone who has Muslim parents can be called a Muslim.

[Vladimir]

So if a muslim does something bad, he is not a muslim. If he does something good, he is a muslim.