Sex before Marriage

[KurdiBoy]

So if a muslim does something bad, he is not a muslim. If he does something good, he is a muslim.

When they do something really bad they have to repent or the good they do doesn't count.

[Yıldız]

can i add something?

Yea. You don't have to ask permission to post.

First of all, thank u.
It's actually hard for me to start saying, too hard cuz im ashamed of myself n people would look down on me, especially that im a muslim.
Frankly, few days ago when i was really down n i google searched "kurdistan+sex+marriage" i saw this topic n after i read the posts, i realised that i started crying again. I wanted to tell something that i experienced, n for posting, i have to register, so here i m now.

I'm in England n the most important reason i'm here is for studying. Two months ago, i met a Kurdish guy n we started talking to each other n one day he told me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't in love with him then but i cared about him cuz he was a friend. He told me he would stop smoking n drinking if i become his girlfriend. He also told me that he has no girlfriend whatsoever as his polish girlfriend had already left him quite while ago to go to her homecountry.
U see, i was naive back then n i never thought someone who was nice to me would ever lie to me. I see that all people are nice when they seem nice.
Iv never been with a boy alone before, especially in my homecountry. I came to England in 2007, n that time is the first time i went out to meet a guy.

To cut story short, after few days of being with him, i started to love him. He was really nice to me. He had showed me photos of him from Kurdistan, of his friends, of his relatives, of his team on football, his language on the tv channels n in his driving lessons book, the Kurdistan results of football games on his laptop, etc.. n i really love the food that he ordered from Kurdistan restaurant to be delivered to his house. It was my first time eating together with a boy even if it's not in the restaurant or outside. We didn't really meet often bcuz i had my cla sses n he had his job. He had never asked me out to cinema, n iv never walked with him in the park, or went out with him in a car/bus. we were always in the house n i didnt have any problem with that. its my first time having a real boyfriend and everything that we did together, tv, eating, playing game, it was enough for me bcuz i just like being close to him.

But one day, he asked for sex n i told him that we shouldn't do. He had told me before that he loved me n he would not leave me. He told me that we could meet to see each other at least once a week. He told me everything is going to be fine. With all his words in my head, what i thought that time was really stupid. I thought that one day he would marry me n i would be his wife n he would be my hubby. I thought that we loved each other so much n we would b happy together. Then i let him did it to me. What i should have thought at that moment was to think about God n also my family. But i really forgot n that was my biggest mistake in my life. It was quite a while i didnt see him after that. I tried contacting him n he started to ignore or just replying that he was really busy n that he was working outside the city. I believed him n i thought that he would meet me again when he was less busy.

After a month i didnt see him n his friends started contacting me. I didnt noe where they got my number from. Few of them were telling me that my boyfriend was just fooling me. Some told me that he wasnt even living in my city anymore n that he has girlfriends every where. I didnt believe them n i thought that my boyfriend was really nice to me, he wouldnt do that to me. I kept trying contacting my boyfriend again n again, bcuz i was feeling scared of thinking that he would leave me. n one day, he did reply me. He said he was sorry n he told me that he lied to me. He told me that he's not living in my city. The house we were always in when we saw each other is actually his friend's house. I was really shocked, my heart was hurting so much n i cried for many days. Why did i fall for him?? i have loved him so much n i never did bad things to him when we were together. n there he was telling me about his lies n telling me not to contact him anymore. I tried to meet him after that, a one last time to talk to him. I just wanted to see him so much, not to hit him or fight with him. Maybe i just missed him so much n wanted to talk. I even asked his friend who had been contacting me , to help me meeting him. More incidents happened after that n its too long to tell, but now n then when he saw me on msn, he would call me bitch n dirty. I know he already started drinking n he doesnt love me (i dont noe if he ever did).

I think i should stop here cuz while im typing right now, i have been thinking about him n it makes me cry.
Bye

I love a Kurd to. I not have sex with him. He tell me he want to marry me and he leave me for a Kurd girl and marry her.

[κє¢ê ∂îиê 63]

I love a Kurd to. I not have sex with him. He tell me he want to marry me and he leave me for a Kurd girl and marry her.

i'm sorry for you, but normally kurds have to marry kurds, it doesn't matter if girl or guy. my parents will never allow me to marry am non-kurd, the same with my broters
so don't belive kurdish guys...

[kajol]

how can you tell if a kurdish men loves u or not what is the sign of love n when. u confront him he denys why

[kajol]

if they dont love us then they should tell us no mens good rose they all kill u inside I am also honest prsn got hurt by kurdish simlar to urs he just wants to have fun

[Kulka]

So dont have fun with them, girls - its simple, just say : "no, thank you, i am not interested" and find boys from your country.

(thank you my lovely brothers that you making bad opinion about all Kurds, when some of you behave like that - congratulations )

[kajol]

iam a muslim girl and he has been talking to me telling me he loves me and I trusted him but I found out he was chating to a girl frm same city as him what dose he want oh god its so hard I hate men

[Kulka]

Sorry, but i dont get the clue - what your religion has to do with the subject?

If i can advice you for future - love is not in the words. Love lays in the way that a person behave. If you believe in words - you can only blame yourself. If you want to see if the person really have feeling for you or not, you have to get to know him (her) more than very good, spend more than a lot of time with him (her). He told you he loved you - have you got any reason to believe? If someone tell you - "ok, i will give you 1 million dollars", would you believe as well?

How long you knew him before you make "relationship" with him?

[kajol]

he has been with me three years nearly four

[Kulka]

I asked how long you knew him before you decide to be with him.

[kajol]

I thin about 6mnths

[kajol]

but I will pray to allah he comes back and if not we will meet up above ameen I will wait im nt dsprt

[samara]

I have been with my Kurdish boyfriend for 2 years and we live happily together. He is completely genuine and open with me, he helps me with everything and i help him. We are getting married this year and staying here to live in england with me. It just proves that kurdish men are not as bad as people make them out to be. They do like mutual respect and appreciate doing things together, as if you were one person. I would never turn back to an english man again. He has never cheated, never lied about anything at all, he is fun and caring and makes my life worth living. So that's settled that.. oh yes and i have had sex before marriage. He never minded. I have met all his kurdish friends as well as his family in kurdistan.. they are all lovely. x

[alan131210]

i was with an Australian girl for 5 years , wanted to marry her , my mum did not agree cos she said how can i communicate with her ? since she doesn't speak any English and she was not a virgin , so i ended up marrying a Muslim virgin girl but i loved my ex partner more , go figure .

[Zhala]

i was with an Australian girl for 5 years , wanted to marry her , my mum did not agree cos she said how can i communicate with her ? since she doesn't speak any English and she was not a virgin , so i ended up marrying a Muslim virgin girl but i loved my ex partner more , go figure .

That is just plain sad

I hope you find happiness with your wife though.

I also hope that if you ever have children, you don't follow your mum's ideas and let your children marry who they want to. Sometime's we can't change our parents views but we can change our views as parents.