Author: Diri » Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:08 pm
Evin wrote:Diri wrote:Well - being married and single are two different worlds...

I've removed my piercing... And so have my brothers - they feel too old for it now... And one of my nephews removed his now (he's only 5 years younger than me

)...
Yes, in extremely conservative or religious families - espcially Kurds from the Hewlêr area (surprisingly I'd say - since they're not the ones one would expect to be all that conservative or religious) - all gold etc. is "haram" for men - and in some circles as you say, it's a sign of femininity - which of course is a very very very "ancient" mentality... People in more rural areas tend to be less tolerant or used to such things as ear piercings and bling bling... There, the "woman" and "man" are more defined and configured than anywhere else...
I wonder what kind of necklace he wears...

I mean it has to be very feminine for him to remove it - or perhaps his family and friends are more conservative than I'd expect from somebody who marries an English lady...

It's a funny one Dîrî, you're right in that they're very traditional people but that said, they had absolutely no problem accepting me into their family. I was worried at first but you know what, we're all human and though I might do some things they find 'unusual' (and vice-versa), we respect one another and we have great relationship/s.
They're not overly religious (my hubby certainly isn't) but yes, they're very traditional and jewellry for men is a big no-no, as for eyeliner, OMG I think my father-in-law would die of shock! Being English I find this a little 'old-fashioned' but I respect their beliefs and ways (and they mine), so all's good

Anyway, now that you're an old man and well on you way to being married, you can put the diamonds and kohl away, lol
Btw, the necklace is your standard gold chain, not at all femine, but there was no way on Earth he was going to wear any jewellry in front of his family.... and then there was growing the moustache so as not to upset his Mum (but that's another story and one that has me laughing out loud!).
Old indeed!

I'm starting to look forward to the next life already! Hahahaha

Of course, as typical of the most traditional families, Evin can: they'd accept a new daughter into the family any day - but a new son in the same manner, hardly acceptable... He'd have to be muslim, preferably Kurdish and preferably as much alike them as possible...

Same goes for some traditional people in my own family - they're just "old-fashioned" as you so nicely put it...
When I say "religious" - I didn't mean to say that they all pray five times a day and are the most pious of Muslims - I guess what I was trying to saw was: Kurds are mostly of the Shafe'i Sunni school - the most strict of all Sunni schools... It's so square and old-fashioned... And I don't wanna step on any toes - so I'll stop right there... I have a lot of respect for all people. And I don't want to offend anybody on this matter.
Just to put it plainly: after years and years of war and prosecution, one looks for stable and solid ground to stand the changing times. As is natural, human beings will go back to their traditions (usually back to childhood/youth) to find that solid ground and stability... It's then understandable in a society where the role of the man and the woman is clear from birth - that objects, practices and traditions which obstruct these clear lines - will be viewed as immoral or even indecent...
It's just old-fashion - stuck in new age...

I mean - even todays old-fashioned families will tell you of their great grandfathers who had ear piercings or tatoos etc... But what was common back then, isn't common today...
Kurds have always been hard to change and change has always been hard to them...
I have a gold necklace - and on the front I have "Allah" as for the back I have the Ayet Kursi (I think it is) - both in gold... And gold is according to the most strict interpretations of the Quran - haram for men...
It's funny however, that Imam Ali (the Prophet's son in-law) is in most cases painted wearing an ear piercing...

